Failure

I have experienced failure many times in my life some experiences worse than others. There is one experience that stands out of the others for me. When someone close to me was diagnosed with breast cancer it put me in a rough situation. At the time she was diagnosed, I tried to pretend like the cancer was not really there. I put it on the side of my life with the hopes that some how I could somehow control the situation. After some time I realized that this was becoming a bigger part of our lives than I originally thought it would. I would go to appointments with her sometimes sitting in the waiting room for hours listening to the same songs on my iPod over and over. And after a while the front desk women would even greet me by name.  Her surgery date was set and our sad reality was becoming real, and this was the first time I came to the realization of my failure. I tried so much to forget the cancer believing that it would go away if I just pretended it wasn’t there. But I think back now wishing that I just accepted it this way I could move past it. My fear of this illness prevented me from facing the truth which kept me from being the person I wish I was during this hard time for her. Looking back I wish I could have changed the way I dealt with this problem from the start.

http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-cancer-awareness-month

My First Memory

My earliest memory was when I was about three years old and got my first kitten. At this time we were living in our summer home up in Monticello.  We didn't have a tv or a computer so me, my brother, and my sister spent most of our days playing outside unless it was raining and then we would be inside playing a board game. One night while playing a long game of man-hunt I remember hiding near the old basket ball hoop with my sister when I heard faint whispers of meowing. We knew that there was a stray cat that lived in our complex, but this cat was old and could not make that kind of small squeal of a meow.  So early the next day we returned. As soon as we got there we discovered the cat we always knew and four of her newborn kittens. We played with them every day that summer. My brother fell in love with the white long haired one, my sister fell in love with a white and brown mix one, and me with the black one. They were all very lovable but whenever we came to play with them, all of the other kittens would hide except for the black one. By the end of the summer we were totally attached to the black one more than any other kitten. So when we were leaving to go back to our home on Long Island we brought him with us and named him shadow.