My transition from childhood to adulthood

When I was first assigned this blog my initial thought was, "My transition into adulthood? but I'm not even an adult in the slightest." I then thought, well what is adulthood? Aside from the legal standpoint where when I turn 17 I can finally go to the movie theaters and watch an R rated movie. Or when I turn 21, I can proudly show the bouncer my (not fake) ID. But that's not adulthood.

I then thought, well when DO people become an adult? According to the books I've read and the movies I've watched, the transition occurs when you go through a life changing or traumatic experience whether it may be becoming independent as you start a new life in that old broken down apartment you could barely afford, or when you have to learn how to move on from that special someone who you thought was going to be your one and only. Even though these events may apply to other people who have reached adulthood, I have to say these cliche scenarios just didn't apply to me. Then when did I finally come to the state of being an adult? I guess it was when I became fully satisfied with myself. Im not saying that I am 100% content with all of my decisions as well as the person I am now, I think there's always room for improvement. But through the years, I think that I have become well aware of my surroundings. An experience that has triggered my growing consciousness was oddly enough, High School. Yes, High School is a time for arrogant, unknowing, mischievous teenagers to test the waters and make mistakes facing few consequences. But who is to say that making mistakes is not a part of adulthood? The way I see it, adulthood is becoming accepting of yourself uncaring if others may question you. It is learning wisdom through observation, acceptance through experimentation. It is (has been) finding happiness in myself because after all, I am my own best friend. Regardless to say, a lot of my High School experience has been trial and error. I have made plenty of bad choices and failed decisions, a good example of this would be the fashion choices I have made in years past. Though looking back at old pictures can be somewhat humorous/horrifying, I am happy with all of the choices (and mistakes) I have made. Because in the end we are all just human. We are learning and we will keep on learning until the day we die. Its not that High School teaches us the reason for life so that we can become mature and wisdom filled adults. Its that it teaches us that life is not perfect, and frankly will never be perfect. But it is what you make it and finding acceptance in that is what has brought me to the position of my idea of adulthood. Ive also grown an appreciation towards High School because of the people I have met there. There are only a few times in my life where I could say that I have met extraordinary people, people that make you want to think that you met them for a reason. It just so happens to be that most of the people this statement applies to, I have met during High School. This regards not only to the few teachers I have had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know, but also the students. Within a building where I have met hundreds of people with divergent perspectives who all have something to offer the world, it would be hard for me not to say that some of these people astonish me. It is them I think who have also helped me reach adulthood. They are the ones who have brought new perspectives into my life and not always see things so one sidedly. High School has created a sense of community for me in which I am able to learn from the people around me. 

Adulthood is not when you reach the age 18 or 21 and you are finally considered to be and adult in the eyes of society. I believe that it is when you reach a state of maturity, acceptance, and wisdom. My experience through High School has helped me find happiness in myself and reach my interpretation of adulthood.

Me

I dont believe that there is one event or experience that has truly shaped me into the person I am today, instead it is a collection of all of the experiences I have had in life. It is the people I have met, the dreams I have made, the music I listen to, the conversations I engage in. It is everything that I value or have learned throughout life that has made me, me. 

Though I have never experienced a life changing event, a huge influence in my life are the people I surround myself with. My family, my friends, the people I am simply acquainted with all have something to offer me. They have influenced my thoughts, my opinions, and how I view the world. As much as id like to say that I am my own person, an individual, unique from everyone else, what I have learned is that I am mainly just a culmination of the people I am surrounded by. 

A couple of years back, I read the novel The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I remember not putting the book down until I finished reading it cover to cover. I was infatuated with the book and even when I was not reading it, I was thinking about it. It became hard for people to have conversations with me because most of the time my face was stuck inside the pages rarely looking away. I was so intrigued because I felt a connection to the idea of the story. Though the story mainly focuses on the afterlife and what happens to us after death, it also ventures into the importance of our lives on earth through the connections we make with others. When the main character, Eddie dies unexpectedly, he awakens to a series of reintroductions to five people whom he had met in life all impacting him in one way or another. It expressed give/take relationships Eddie had and impressed me with its creativeness and new take on life. Even though we may not know it, the people in our life  even those nameless people you pass on the street may play a larger role in your life than you ever could have imagined. They are the ones who influence you to do the things you do and make the decisions you make even if you dont realize that they are the reason for your choices.

After reading this book, I began to understand the importance of others and their impact on my life. The people around me have enhanced me, they are what given me inspiration to do the things I love, and they are the ones I gain knowledge from. I have taken something from everyone I know, like my brothers music taste, my fathers patience,or  my friends sense of humor. Knowing these people, especially the ones who have been there for me since I was a young child are the ones I took after and wanted to be like. I would laugh at the same jokes or buy the same shirt as somebody simply because I looked up to them and saw something in them that I wanted in myself. As I grew older I found that I did not need to be exactly like somebody and that being an individual is a wonderful thing, but in the scope of things I am the people around me. The connections I have made with people and experiences I share with them have created who I am as a person. All in all, I believe that everything I do, say, or go through has been influenced by the people around me whether I'm aware of it or not. 

My escape

I have always loved the feeling of cold air blowing against my face. I could feel the wind entering my body, filling my lungs. I love the way my hair suddenly becomes untamable, flying in every direction. Something about car rides soothe me. With the music blasting until I can feel the vibrations of the beat throughout the car, and the breeze pushing me back into my seat, I can finally relax. I have no worries or cares, it is hard to concentrate on anything else other than the world that surrounds me. Whether we may be passing by the mountain to catch a glimpse of “the golden hour” as the sunset spills through the cracks of the mountain or going through town passing busy streets overflowing with cars and people in a rush to get to their destination I find calmness. It is comforting going on those car rides. There doesn’t have to be any talking, the music will fill the silence. There is nothing preoccupying my mind, for however long the ride will be, I have no responsibilities and I can forget all of my worries.

My favorite is a late night car ride. It's quieter and less people are out.The breeze is colder and I can feel the goosebumps on my skin. It wakes me up and I can finally feel alive. I don't feel claustrophobic with loud people or cars passing. The street lights and occasional drunk college kids stumbling their way home are the only things around me. I love the clear nights though, where the moon and the millions of stars guide me through the dark. I can look up through the sunroof and see that these stars that seem to be so still and unmoving, are so beautiful which brings me peace so that I can feel calm. Yet on the nights when nothing can be seen and the clouds block any light that tries to peak through, the captivating darkness comforts me. It isolates me and creates an escape from the world. The car, like a flashlight, searches through the darkness turning in all different directions exploring unchartered territory. On late night car rides, I feel like the only one on earth. It's a getaway in which I can feel free without a care in the world about any other person other than myself.

In the car, I feel happy. Whether I am on a late night adventure with a friend or during the day time where me and my brother rock out to our favorite song on his iPod while on our way to the supermarket, we always find a way to have a good time. I realize that these are the moments I should cherish because these are the memories I will look back upon in years to come. Car rides are my place of safety. They bring me joy in being with the people I love and help me get away from my hectic life if only for that short period of time.

Picture It

     This past school year I have been taking photography class. In this class we study the different types of photography and techniques we could use to make our photographs "unique" like aperture, shutter speed, and focusing. Mr. Martin would often use power points showing examples of photography that would help us get inspiration for the upcoming assignments.

     While watching one of these power points this image popped out to me. Unlike the others, I couldn't tell what the message behind this photo was for. It stumped me. Why was this man grinning with such seriousness surrounding him? And why was everybody staring at him in the first place? There were a million questions I wanted to figure out in this image but I knew I would never get the answers to.

     Over time I have learned to like these kinds of pictures that let the imagination wander and not having to know an exact answer. I enjoy this photograph so much because aside from being pretty humorous in my opinion, there are no right or wrong ways to interpret this picture. When you look at it there is no simple reasoning to why this young man is smiling. It also struck me when I first saw it because oddly enough I felt a connection to him. It was like seeing myself in a situation where I was supposed to be acting serious or solemn and all of a sudden I think of something funny that happened to me the day before and I can't help but laugh to myself. 

     The man grinning in the picture and the reaction from the couple to the side of him create a mystery. The gestures of these people make the situation apparent and it is up to the people viewing this photo to come up with the story that took place after the photograph had been taken. Though this idea of "making up your own story" might be frustrating to some, I was intrigued and delighted with the fact that I myself could figure out my own meaning to this image because if you are always handed information with no questioning then what's the purpose?

http://shrineodreams.wordpress.com/2011/12/07/pictures-i-like-bratsk-wedding-1967-by-elliot-erwitt/

Failure

I have experienced failure many times in my life some experiences worse than others. There is one experience that stands out of the others for me. When someone close to me was diagnosed with breast cancer it put me in a rough situation. At the time she was diagnosed, I tried to pretend like the cancer was not really there. I put it on the side of my life with the hopes that some how I could somehow control the situation. After some time I realized that this was becoming a bigger part of our lives than I originally thought it would. I would go to appointments with her sometimes sitting in the waiting room for hours listening to the same songs on my iPod over and over. And after a while the front desk women would even greet me by name.  Her surgery date was set and our sad reality was becoming real, and this was the first time I came to the realization of my failure. I tried so much to forget the cancer believing that it would go away if I just pretended it wasn’t there. But I think back now wishing that I just accepted it this way I could move past it. My fear of this illness prevented me from facing the truth which kept me from being the person I wish I was during this hard time for her. Looking back I wish I could have changed the way I dealt with this problem from the start.

http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-cancer-awareness-month

My First Memory

My earliest memory was when I was about three years old and got my first kitten. At this time we were living in our summer home up in Monticello.  We didn't have a tv or a computer so me, my brother, and my sister spent most of our days playing outside unless it was raining and then we would be inside playing a board game. One night while playing a long game of man-hunt I remember hiding near the old basket ball hoop with my sister when I heard faint whispers of meowing. We knew that there was a stray cat that lived in our complex, but this cat was old and could not make that kind of small squeal of a meow.  So early the next day we returned. As soon as we got there we discovered the cat we always knew and four of her newborn kittens. We played with them every day that summer. My brother fell in love with the white long haired one, my sister fell in love with a white and brown mix one, and me with the black one. They were all very lovable but whenever we came to play with them, all of the other kittens would hide except for the black one. By the end of the summer we were totally attached to the black one more than any other kitten. So when we were leaving to go back to our home on Long Island we brought him with us and named him shadow.